greenmidgetcafe | (no subject)

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THE TEST DRIVE MEME

Hey, ho, DWRP! Apps for

sweven open in a week!! Rather than make you wait one more week to start playing with the setting, you get to have this meme to have some pre-game fun!

The way it works is simple. Just post a comment with your character as if they were in game, with a line or two of either a setting or a network post. Then go reply to other people and thread to your heart's content. Shenanigans ensue! And then everyone apps everyone ever and you've already got an idea of what kind of CR you could get in-game.

Sound fun? Well, then what are you doing still reading? Hop to!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Here? Not at all. Whoever or whatever is responsible for this, I'm about 99% positive it isn't human. At least, not a normal human.

So... you can taste writing?

I'm not sure what qualifies as a normal human! All of the ones I've met have either been very cheeky, or at least a little stupid. [ As for the last part, this is apparently very funny, as she devotes several long minutes to cackling about it. ] Of course I can taste writing! Haha, how else would I read?

I'd say that qualifies as pretty normal. [ Although man she has no clue what's so funny. Awkward. ]

I dunno, most people go for braille, but I guess taste is more convenient.

I have absolutely no need for trollbraille! ... not to mention, there aren't many books in it, anyway. If you're blind, they usually just wait until you're naturally culled off. [ She nods, shaking off the last of her laughter. ] It is also much more delicious. Usually.

Harsh. [ But hey, that's alien life for you, apparently. ]

What's it taste like? Paper just sort of tastes... pulpy, to me.

This paper tastes terrible! It's like somebody stomped a pile of mouldy turnips flat, and mixed the mush together with tears resulting from boredom. I think they should invest in some different coloured paper! Their insistence on printing black on white is at least a little discriminatory.

[ Now she laughs. ]

Yeah, that sounds a little like tourism pamphlets. What are you looking for, anyway? I have experience with these, maybe I can help you find it.

Evidence! [ It's always evidence she's after. Always. And she looks rather serious about it, too. ] I need as much information as possible to bring those who stole us away from our own worlds to justice. Ooh, they think they've escaped the hangman's noose, but not for long!

Seriously? You're not going to find that here. [ Trust her, she knows from experience. ]

You should start with the hospital and work backwards, see if you can find the source.

...

[ Pausing, Terezi takes the battered leaflet out of her back pocket, smooths what's left of it out in her palm, and gives it a good, long lick. ]

You meant this isn't the hospital?

...Uh, no. This is the information center. It's for... well, tourism pamphlets.

Oh my god! [ SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT! ] But the stench of despair here is exactly what I imagine your human temporary culling-prevention station to smell like! Ugh. This world is stupid and the colours are all messed up.

I think the colors are probably a cultural difference, but no, this isn't the hospital. Did you not wake up there? That's where I woke up.

Of course I woke up there! I just... got a little lost retracing my steps! [ There were a lot of people around, okay? And she hasn't had to deal with more than a dozen others in a long, long time, and, alright, maybe she let herself get a little distracted by all the commotion. ] Ugh, human Jegus save me.

You mean Jesus. [ Who is Jegus that's just weird :T ]

You know what, I've got time. I'll show you where the hospital is.

No, I am quite sure I mean Jegus! I have it on excellent authority that Earth has the best Jegus. [ Oh, and perhaps this girl can help her find a Jegus, in the process! Terezi seems quite pleased with this relocating plan, and swings out her cane before her. ] Hehehe, excellent! Let's go.

Uh, are you sure somebody isn't just messing with you?

[ GOD TEREZI be careful with that cane, you're going to take OTHER people's eyes out. ]

Onwards and upwards.

Cheeky human boys are always messing with me! Your race is just so absurdly ironic that sometimes I don't know what to do with myself.

So then what's Jegus supposed to be?

Well! [ Pausing, Terezi taps her finger against the tip of her nose. ] I'm not really sure what a Jegus is!

Then how do you know it's supposed to help you?

Because I'm a Seer! I See all sorts of things that others can't! [ Which is complete nonsense, actually. Or at least in relation to Jegus. Honestly, she just likes the way it sounds, and it makes a good placeholder for when she's too frustrated to come up with anything else. ]

Right. [ 'See'. Interesting choice of words. ]

Anyway the hospital isn't too far away.

Good, good! Soon the perpetrators will be brought to justice, and all law abiding citizens will flood to the streets and puke.

...puke?